She stepped with the wrong foot forward

It feels like no matter what I do, theres always someone Im not pleasing.. It doesnt bug me, because I know that I cant please everyone. Especially all at once. So why do I bring it up you ask? Because I for once don't want to get in shit, for something someone else is not happy with. For such a happy person, I have a lot of negativity in my life... and although I put on a front and get along with my family I feel thats where it started, thats where I feel most of the negativity is comming from. I feel like I should go away and not talk to anyone for a little while, and just focus on me, and making me happy. That may seem selfish but I dont know what else to do.. I try to stand up, i get in shit, i take it i feel like shit. Its a lose lose. Im under such a tiny microscope that its not even funny. I have so much pressure on me to have a great job and start a career... thats what I want but not at this point, I want to work and travel the world I dont need a job that I can stay there for 30 years just yet. Thats my rant for right now.

bahh hum bug.

Okay so the current downlow of my life is that is lacks time. I have no time to really do anything I dont even have time to do homework and thats all i ever do lol. I cant decide whether or not to stop sleeping.. or to fail class? lol great options I know. Other then that I went to see twilight it was amazing amazing amazing!! And I saw hsm on ice last night which was pretty cool, but troy was definetly not a zac efron looking hottie. lol Downside to all this christmas is here im done my shopping, but i hate christmas. Family drama, money issues, and stress, oh and dont forget possibilities of weight gain. Gotta love the holidays right? This year will be the first year that xmas is different my dads brother (my uncle) is not comming to xmas for the first time EVER. So my grandma is emotional, my dad and him are argueing and it leaves me stuck in the middle of something that should not be a problem in the first place. Good part of xmas the bf is spending it with me :)

No one in the club has sawgger like us <3

What to say? What to say?
I have so much homework right now its not even funny and so I am taking a break to write in zee blog. lol I currently am in classes called HR Management, Organizational Behaviour and Accounting and I have massive projects in all of them and on top of that I have to do nightly homework. YAY ME!! NOT. lol tonight Jo an I are hitting the clubs, so people you better be looking out for us ;) Then we are also going to go shopping today and she is sleeping over. Total girls night out!! Im so stoked because I dont get to see her that often making tonight very very exciting. Anywho I should probably get back to work

P.S. Gas under a dollar? HELL YAH

xoxo Erica

2 months & 12 days later

So yah I noticed I dont blog anymore. Dont really have the time.. but then again I dont really have the time to do anything, and of course everything and anything I want to do can no longer be spontaneous... it must be planned out. Man school just takes the fun outta everything now doesnt it? lol Okay so where to start. We will start way back when at the end of august and begining of september. I house sat a lot for alyssa and craig, which was fun because it was like living by myself without having parents around. Awesome! I know lol. And september 4th, Joanna and I went to Backstreet Boys & Girlicious which was so totally awesome. We did not have floor seats or anything else amazing.. but we could see everything and ended up getting a little tipsy any ways and dancing everywhere so we honestly didnt care.

School - I started school way back when on September 8th and a lot of my classmates were intimidated for sure. I on the other hand was not, I fully enjoyed beinging in class, and I love everything Im learning Im definetly a lucky one. The down side is literally minimum 3 hours of homework on school nights which is monday to wednesday for 9 hours a day. And on a bad day I could have up to 8 but Im pretty fast and usually get it done in 6. We get massive homework assignments that the last one took me over 68 hours to finish obviously not in a row. But all in all Im learning lots.

Life - I GOT MY LISCENCE OCTOBER 24TH!! AND I TURNED 19 ON OCTOBER 27!! So I can legally drink and drive just not together.. I know!! lol Joanna, Alyssa, Kaity and I all went to Citrus for my birthday and we had so much fun it was ridiculous and so many cute pics too! I love that I can just get in my car in go, such freedom. OMG ALMOST FORGOT.. I MOVED BACK TO CLOVERDALE. I live here pretty much by myself and can do whatever I want whenever I want.. well if school didnt interfere with that lol. I need to organize times better, and set realistic goals and if I accomplish them reward myself with spending the day with friends, or even my boyfriend because oother wise I wont have time and I will fall behind in school.

Boyfriend - Still dating after 9 months which is a good sign. lol and we got in are first massive crazy yelling fight ever. But we worked it out and everything is all good, and in a few days it will be a year sense I've known him. I know im wierd but its cute and you know it.

Family - My dad and I have been getting along a lot better sense I dont live at home anymore which is good I guess. I miss Jennie like crazy I almost want to cry everytime I here myself say her name or even think about her shes my best friend right? How can I not miss her.

Thats life for now, nothing to crazy just lack of time for anything else besides school. But hey its one hard year for a lifetime filled with oppurtunities. I know its cheesy but its what gets me through the day. :)


P.S. I will try and blog more then once every two months lol.

BAHHHHHHHHH

I HATE MY LIFE.
well that was my over dramatic point of this blog.


I hate the fact that my whole family is fucking pyshco. My stepsister is moving in fulltime and that means I share a room 24/7 YAY ME! NOT And on top of all that everyone is thinking this is the best thing for her. I dont think it is and its definetly not the right thing for this family. I also HATE the fact that my grandma is all old school on me and preeches to me like every 5 seconds about stuff that she doesnt even know anything.

Life.

Do you ever feel like life is moving so fast that if you blink you just missed a year? And have you ever felt trapped or because someone else didnt believe in something you wanted that you just gave it up? Well I think thats what I have been doing and I cant let people get in my way. If my family doesnt like it they will get over it once they realize the choices I make are good ones. And if my friends or boyfriend are not supportive then maybe its time to find new ones. Im young, I dont want to be settled into a job, a house, kids, marriage or anything along those lines for a few years, but I feel like those years are rushing at me so its intimidating theres so much I want to do. I want to live all over the place.. I think my top two places are California & Quebec it doesnt have to be for 10 years but maybe 3 to 6 months in both places. And I know that I dont need to go with anyone else I will make new friends, and I will have an amazing life experience. Its just a random thought that I needed to write out..

Jealous.

Every girl who reads this stop and think about your mom for one moment. Do you hate her guts? Do you wish she would stop trying to meddal in your life? Does going on a shopping day or a brunch date or even just small chitchat over dinner feel like a chore to do? Well think about if she wasnt there.. think about what it would be like to have that pulled from right under you and you just left with phone calls, then they will die down , then emails and they will eventually stop, and then your left wishing you could have been a better daughter or took more time to do those things. ITS NOT TOO LATE. You may think you hate your mom but trust me if she was gone you'd want to go back to hating her..

Its been over 3 years sense I have seen my mom, and when I saw moms taking there girls back to school shopping today I immediatly left the mall in tears. I wish I could have that with my mom, I wish I could have chit chats and get into all sorts of trouble and fights with her. What kills me the most is too think that I have all these feelings and I dont know if she feels the same shes missed so much of my life.. that I dont even know if shes interested in me anymore. Its a depressing thought so all you lucky girls with moms just give her a call maybe spend the day at the mall and remember your love and trust for her will over power that so called hate.